Why the title Solitary Genius?

I do all of my writing from my intuition.   It is as if something takes over. I start typing away, not really sure who is doing the writing. I can tell my writing comes from my intuition because sometimes certain ideas “drop in.” Writing Solitary Genius was a major learning experience for me. I didn’t even think or know I could write well.   I remember as a teenager, for one of the first times in my life, my father was reading an essay I had written for my college application to Loyola College in Maryland. I clearly recall his feedback saying, “This is good. You’re a very simple writer, but clear.” To me, that was an insult. The word “simple” as a teenager just isn’t something you want to hear.  I smiled at my dad, saying thank you as my heart sank. So, to think that I could write a book or even an interesting essay was not something I considered.

After I got out of college, I was teaching the children I write about in Solitary Genius and I found that I had so much inside of me which they inspired that the only way I could find a way to express it was to start writing their inspirational stories in my trusty journal.

That is where Solitary Genius began: within my personal journal pages.  I have never taken a writing course and no one ever said in my entire career of private schooling that I had any sort of writing skill, so why would I think I was a good writer by any means?  It seemed like a fluke for me to discover that I could write or that anything within my personal journal pages was of value other than for my own personal reflection.

In my 20s, I lived on the Upper West Side in Manhattan. The first assumption when someone hears you live in Manhattan in your twenties is that I was out living it up, partying as much as possible. In reality, it was a rare occasion that I was partying.  I’m not a huge drinker and I never have been.  Instead, in my 20s you would find me more often than not in the Barnes and Noble on 82^nd and Broadway upstairs in the Self Help and New Age section.  I was trying to figure out my purpose in life.  No wonder I never got married in my 20s. How many 20 year old guys do you find in Manhattan at the Barnes and Noble in the Self Help and New Age Section?

Upon hearing this, one of the first questions asked is, what did you love doing as a child? The second is what do you lose all sense of time doing?  It’s not the easiest question to answer because as a child I feel like there are so many different experiences you love.  Writing did not stick out as one of the top three things that I loved to do as a child.  I loved my tap and ballet classes as a child, I loved my ceramic classes, and I loved Art class.  I was obsessed with dress up, walking in my Mom’s high heels, playing dolls and having pen pals. Yes, this really dates me to say I had pen pals, but I did and it was one the best things I thought there was.  Ironically, one of my friends that was a pen pal to me as a child is a writer today as well.  So, like does attract like, especially as little children. When I was in college I took an oil painting class and I have never found myself so lost in time.  If I pull out my oil paints (which is maybe once a year these days and this is a goal of mine to change this fact), I have no sense of time.  Everything around me does not exist. It is like a trance.  So, all of these things told me, I’m a creative, but what did that mean my purpose is?  After speaking with a particular life coach in my late 20’s while I was trying to figure it all out, it all came together, although I almost didn’t believe it.  Those stories I had written down in my journal about teaching my students fresh out of college really was a book.  So, I dug in and went through the long process of learning how to write a book.  I just kept writing and writing. One morning I woke up and it was as if someone directly whispered in my ear, “The title of your book is Solitary Genius”. It was as if a light switch went on.  I was trying to capture the children I taught in the title of my book, and for weeks, I couldn’t figure it out.

To me, Solitary Genius was the perfect solution. All of my students that I taught were solitary and they all had their own genius inside of them, no matter what their struggles were. It was a matter of patiently discovering their genius that made them such special souls.  With a title on top of my stack of typed pages, I handed my manuscript to my very well esteemed editor who I was more than lucky to be connected with. I was nervous. What if she told me it was garbage and didn’t make sense? I waited for a few days and then I received a voicemail from her asking me to call her back.

That was when the words I never imagined I would hear came out of her mouth. “Maureen, have you ever taken a writing course?”  No, I haven’t.  “No writing class, ever?” No, never (Oh no, here it comes. Go take a class and get back to me).  “Well, I just can’t believe you have never taken a writing course. You are a very talented writer.”  I wanted to cry and hug her through the phone. Could this be true?  The only way to find out was to get Solitary Genius published, which I did.

Solitary Genius has been an interesting ride for me.  My mother made it clear she did not like the book when it was first published because she felt it exposed our family and that this was not fair to my siblings.  No one wants to have your mother yelling at you for something you have put so much heart and soul into.  I had to believe that the larger message would prevail and perhaps, my mom would change her opinion.  Like everything, time continues and time heals things. I don’t think Solitary Genius will ever be one of my Mom’s liked books, but she seems to be just okay with it at this point in life.  Most importantly, I hope that the messages within its pages are really heard.

I know there are a number of messages and I also know that whatever the reader hears is the one they need at that particular time.  But, if I could choose one, this is what it would be:

I hope the reader hears the unspoken.  That is, in my heart I believe that these children who face so many communication challenges are here to teach us about energy and the power of the unspoken.  They are here to provide us with an awareness of the power beyond words and conventional communication – to push us to a higher level of understanding of what it means to connect and communicate.  If we ignore it, they will continue to speak louder through the unspoken.  So, let’s listen on their terms.  Let’s look at our energy, the sensitivities and overstimulation of our world and work as hard as we can to simplify.  I know there are many messages within the pages of this book, but this is the one that I hold most dearly for my Solitary Geniuses.

-Mo

Interesting in reading Solitary Genius? Click here.

40.  What?!  Not me.  Yes, me.  I’m turning 40.  I’m convinced I’m only 30.
30 didn’t phase me. I know to a number of my friends, it was jarring.  To me, I was excited to be out of my 20s and on to my 30s. It didn’t feel pivotal. This 40 thing is definitely phasing me.  This number feels like it has some significance in the direction of my life. It seems that choices in my early 40s will impact me greatly, and that is when my brain goes into the mode of, “what do I need to be doing to make my 40s more fun and more of who I want to be?”

It’s the obvious that people question me about and can see: I’m single with no kids. People want to know, will I get married? Will I have kids? I don’t have an answer for them other than that I believe that what is meant to be will be, whether I stress about it or not. I often get a response that I need to do something to make a relationship happen.  I don’t argue their point.  I just do my own thing. When I think about my life and where I am right now, I’m so grateful for everything.  Nothing is perfect in life, but nothing is “wrong” in my life. What can I add to my life to enhance the quality of it?  I think the answer is a relatively simple one: I want more personal time to enjoy life and spend more time on the things that make me happy and really keep me grounded and healthy.  If that involves meeting a great guy and having a family, that works. If it doesn’t, then that will work too.  I’m not sure that people want to believe this answer, but there is not much I can do about it  (nor will I try to convince them).

In the meantime, I’ve got a big birthday coming up and I love to travel. So, more often than not, I travel somewhere (usually somewhere warm to give me sun from the long winter) for my birthday.  Originally, I had plans with my good friend from college (who is also turning 40) to spend it in Paris. Despite having no husband and no children, I’m around-the-clock busy, so it is an effort to create the space for anything, but there was something pulling at me and I was avoiding booking the trip.  That is, I wasn’t consciously saying, hold off on Paris, but I just wasn’t carving out the time to book what I was so excited to do. Sure enough, the universe changed the direction of my sails and with that, instead of going East to Paris, I will be flying West to one of my favorite places on this earth: Hawaii.  If you have been to Hawaii, you know why it is one of my favorite places.  If you have not, I’ll do my best to explain why Hawaii is so amazing.  As soon as you step off the airplane to Hawaii, you can feel the energy is different than any other place you have been before. It’s like you just walked onto a cloud.  It’s like a giant hug.  There is so much beauty and it is so lush that it resets your entire body.  It centers you in every way. It’s like magic.  Energetically, they say Hawaii is the heart of Mother Earth.  I believe it.

My goal is to start my 40s off enjoying more and spend more time on the things that keep me grounded, happy, and healthy, Hawaii is the perfect place for me to be celebrating. Until then, I have a list as long as the minutes that make up a day of things to do before I leave for my trip in April. I’ve got a great deal of balls in the air right now, one of them being that I’m moving just seven blocks away to a new apartment at the end of this month. I don’t know that I’ve ever been so excited to move.  So, on top of reflecting on my impending age, I’m being forced to look at my things and ask myself: what do I really need, and what can I give away so someone else can use it?  I really do this on a regular basis, because I like to keep energy going, but moving makes you ask this question more thoroughly and look at every little thing. In the process of looking through my things, I have realized that I have more than enough and that I really do love the “things” that make up my environment. They literally make me happy.  There are also things I know I need to improve upon and I will work at those things as best I can.

Moving is a big energetic shift that mirrors my birthday, and I’m excited for both.  I’m finally going from a studio to a one bedroom apartment. Talk about being civilized in your 40s. I will start my next chapter doing what I like to do in a place I love, where I will write down my goals going forward.  I’ve done this since I was in my 20s. I look back on the things that I wrote and marvel at how I forgot about things I had written, and despite my forgetting what I wrote down, I created many of the things that were on those pages.  I can’t wait to sit down and reflect on what my fingers put on my blank sheet of paper. Then, for the next ten years, I will watch life unfold and see what the cards will show me.  In the meantime, I look forward to having each card of life revealed, and I’ll just have to go with the flow.

People often ask me what it’s like to have grown up with 9 siblings.  I tell them it’s wonderful, and at the same time, it has its challenges, just like so many things in life.  But the positives outweigh any challenges.  I am blessed to have grown up in a family of ten and have the relatives I have, because I believe knowing where you come from and who your relatives are provides you with ground.  It’s a resource of knowing that you are not alone in this journey.  I also know from a spiritual perspective that this is what was meant to be because there are too many miracles that occurred to make it happen. It’s a miracle in itself to have 9 healthy siblings and to make things happen with that many people living under one roof. It takes more than your own will or intention; it takes a higher source to synchronize all that went into each day.

Just to give you a practical snapshot of what it’s like to have 5 brothers and 4 sisters (none of which are twins), let’s start with the age range.  There is a 20 year age gap between the oldest and youngest sibling.  Yes, if you average that out, my Mom was having a baby every two years.  Whenever I tell people about my mom growing up,  I picture her pregnant with a basketball belly in front of her petite frame.  When you have a twenty year gap, naturally, people go off to college and keep moving forward, so you have limited experiences with younger siblings. I like to explain it as if it was two families growing up under one roof. The first five are the older group, and the last five are the “babies.” Yes, five babies.  I had limited exposure to my younger siblings once I went to college. I knew them all very well as actual babies, but then I grew up and went to Loyola College in Maryland.

The next very common question I get is, are we all close? The question of whether we are close or not is individual to every person in my family.  Do we get together as an entire family on a regular basis? Yes. I would say this happens twice a year, which to some puts us in the category of being close. But, do I talk to any of my siblings every day like a good bit of siblings do?  No, but talking on the phone has never been my thing. There is no one in my life that I speak to on the phone every day, or even two times a week. I just do my own thing and always have.  As for relationships, of course I have siblings that I am closer to than others. I always defer to explaining it in spiritual terms, because that is just how I think.

Spiritually and energetically, we cross paths with those who energetically serve us at the right times. The difference with siblings is they are always there. Energy that is consistently around you, but not necessarily one that you will or will not connect with until the time is right.  What I find is that I go through waves of being connected to different siblings at different times. For example, I recently found out that my brother Sean is wonderful at social media. I need help in social media, so Sean helps me out.  Energetically, I had a need and the discovery came about, resulting in Sean and I getting to know each other more.  For instance, it’s just like the person you randomly meet that is perfect for what you need at the time.  This is how I see my siblings energetically. We all flow to each other as needed, yet all share the understanding that we love one another despite any challenges we may or may not have had with one another.  I have been told by a good bit of people in my life that I am a lucky girl and lucky things just happen to me.  I don’t argue this point. Perhaps that luck started from my childhood by having a plentitude of siblings within my life on a regular basis and perhaps that subconscious feeling of luck just went with me and never left because I expect it.

Now, lets get deeper into things. What is the number one lesson I have learned from being in a family of 10?  I would say I can’t give you a number one at this time. I may have a number one answer, but for now, here are my top 13 major lessons I learned from growing up with 9 siblings:

1. I learned that miracles happen every day, because they really did in our house.  Most of all, I felt that having babies around all of the time was the biggest miracle.  Children are amazing, healing souls.  They interrupt stress and provide an in-the-moment environment and it is then that you see, appreciate and notice things that you would not typically.

2.  I learned that health is the most important thing, because we were lucky to have it.  We may have had struggles, but we didn’t have health struggles and we all know of that friend or parent who died too young. To have 12 people living under one roof and not have any major life concerns is another miracle.

3.  I learned that you must pull your own weight and take care of yourself at a very young age. If you didn’t take care of yourself, you saw the consequences immediately.  If you didn’t take care of your homework, get organized, or get to bed at a reasonable hour there was no one over your shoulder telling you that you should do these things. You simply had to figure it out on your own or pay the consequences. You had to take responsibility for you and what your needs were because there was only one of my mother and ten of us.

4. I learned a great deal of parenting skills, more than most will ever learn. I have changed more diapers than most will in their lifetime. I have helped more crying kids then most will in their lifetimes, and I have shared more precious moments of being with young children and seeing their brilliance and innocence shine through than most. Parenting is innately in me because of these experiences.

5.  I learned that love does really conquer all, but there are always challenges in that love, because without the challenges we would not be learning and spiritually expanding.   I was hurt often as a child because I couldn’t make sense of a number of things, but in the end, there was a great deal of love in our home that put any discontent to the side.

6.   I learned that infants are one of the most precious things in life and that holding a infant in your arms with that smell and that calm they bring lasts about as long as  the blink of an eye.  So, hold them as long as you can because they will be running from your arms faster than you can say their name.
7.  I learned that most people don’t really know what it is to work hard and be relentless.  You must do this in a family of 10. It is taken to another level. My father and mother worked their butts off to keep our family going. They sacrificed their own comforts to give us as much as they could.  They were relentless in their belief that everything works out in long run. The needs of so many all at the same time takes “needs” to another level.
8.   I learned that everything in life, no matter how serious or intense or heartbreaking it may feel, will pass and things will get better. I often got stressed out from my school experience.  As intense as it was for me, I eventually learned that the seriousness of a situation always passed because time makes it so.
9. I learned that energy is as real as your words. I learned this by observing so many people and so many different needs. It was if I had decoding games in my head going on as to how those around me and my siblings felt.
10. I learned that we all have struggles, every single one of us no matter how things may appear and you must always remember this and treat others as best you can.  It felt as though people looked at our family as a model family.  We have good looking parents and good looking kids. It looks beautiful, but it was hard work. Every single one of us had to sacrifice something and in turn that created our own personal struggles that we each had to face.

11.  I learned that we are all really just doing our best in life, even if others aren’t happy with what doing our best is.  I think people naturally want to be the best they can be and aren’t purposely unkind or mean.  I think everyone wants to be good and be kind, whether you are a child in your terrible twos driving everyone mad or a high schooler that can’t seem to lose an attitude.
12.  I learned that intuition is one of the greatest gifts in this journey called life because it will give you the answers you seek. Intuition told me more often than not where to turn and that things would be okay, even when I couldn’t make sense of circumstances. It has revealed many wonderful things to me.

13. I learned that no matter how much you want to help someone change, you cannot change them. They must decide to change themselves.  I was in high school and I was arguing with a sibling of mine who in my eyes was acting unreasonable.  As I stood on the other side of the door arguing with them it was as if all of a sudden someone stepped in and said,  “Stop!” I took a deep breath and I said to myself, what am I doing? All of this yelling isn’t going to change anything because they don’t want to change right now. I can’t force what someone doesn’t want. I walked away peacefully and have never tried to talk sense into this sibling about this challenge of theirs since that day.

– Mo

 

I’m a huge believer that your environment is a reflection of your psyche. I’m often taking a glimpse of my environment to give me feedback on what is really going on energetically.

Try it. Look at your environment right now.   What do you see? This is your energy. This is what you give off energetically to the world and attract. While I asked myself this very question the other day, I found myself looking at the obvious – my petite Manhattan apartment. It was giving me instant feedback on how balanced I was after spending all morning cleaning and tidying up. Saturday mornings for me are always my clean up day. I get up, walk and feed the dog. Then, I walk a few blocks to the bakery and grab a chocolate croissant and a tea latte. As soon as I get back to my apartment, off to cleaning I go. I actually enjoy it. It’s like a workout and by end of day, my life from the week before is back on reset. However, this Sunday after I thought I did a really thorough cleaning of my apartment the day before I looked a little further at my surroundings and for some reason my focus landed on my only plant in my apartment. Yes, my only plant. This plant has been through the trenches with me. It’s called a snake plant or Mother-in-laws Tongue plant, named after it’s thick, hearty straight leaves that stand tall like a column. This plant is more than 10 years old and has been in three different apartments with me, even a 2 month bout in a dark storage space couldn’t kill this thing. Apparently, the plant just thought it was in hibernation for 2 months.

I live in an apartment with abundant light all year long, so it’s ideal for plants to flourish. When I focused in on my plant, I almost didn’t recognize it. I said to myself, oh dear, how could I have neglected this little guy who has been so loyally a sign of life to me? There were dead dried up leaves in with the green ones, the leaves that are usually stiffly upright we are falling over the edges of the pot. I immediately sighed- talk about my environment being a reflection of myself. How telling.

I am one to neglect my own personal life for work. I always have and I felt it this last spring when I was told I caught mono (which is very unusual for a someone in their 30s). So, until the end of the summer I was doing my best to get my immune system back in shape and feel strong again, but feeling strong again did not just mean physically. It meant getting back to my life, having a personal life that I neglected for months in lieu of a very demanding job.   I had put my personal needs aside for everyone else’s and it resulted in being physically tired and my immune system had weakened to the point that it couldn’t fight off picking up this virus. I was giving beyond what allowed me to remain balanced. The plant was very clearly telling me I had dried up things that need to be tended to and brought back to life and there were also old habits or ideas that died in me that I was happy to release. It ultimately reminded me that I have to be sure to nurture myself every day. After I picked out the dead leaves, tilled the soil and gave it some water I put it in a new spot in my apartment. Every morning I open the drape of the window it sits in so it gets the first light of the sun and I talk to it. I will nurse this plant back to health just like I am brining and nursing myself back to wholeness and balance. I neglected my personal needs just like I neglected my plant. My little plant taught me to really slow down in the moment and really look at what is right in front of you and that nothing is more urgent than your self care and balance. So, I am making sure I sleep more and that I’m not answering work emails all hours of the day and night seven days a week. Despite the fact that I walk a good bit around the city, I also make time to take a Pilates class or play tennis because these are big stress relievers for me. Night time and weekend time is for me so I can be my best self and if I don’t insist that it is, the universe will be sure to tell me so.

What surrounds you every day? Is it a loving atmosphere, are you positive to those around you and do you feel positive around them? What about your “things”- Are they half put away or half completed? Are there piles of things to get done? Are your floors swept and shelves dusted? What’s in your refrigerator and cabinets? Are they nourishing, life force foods? Are things orderly and in place? Is your environment one that is welcoming and calm that fosters good energy because we all deserve this. Do you need help with your projects in order to finish them? Can a spouse or friend help you clean up the energy of unfinished business so you have a fresh place to start from? Is all in order as this new year approaches? If so, that’s awesome. Keep the good energy going. If not, look around you and keep listening and looking until your environment tells you things have changed for the better. You will know because it will literally transform before your eyes.

Happy New Year!

-Mo

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As Dec. approached, I was pondering themes for my Twitter and Facebook posts. During a brainstorming session, the topic of stress relief during the holiday was suggested by a friend. I sat and thought on this for a little over a day and even started to write out the typical effective stress relief tools out there- taking deep breaths, going for a walk, music, meditation etc.

I said to myself: nope, this isn’t the answer.

And then my intuition came barreling through me, reminding me that the only real stress relief is helping or giving to others. That is when I decided that everyday, I would post a company or product that gives back. Using the hashtag #g1veeveryday, I wanted to remind people that yes, it helps stress to take a deep breath or go for a walk, but if anyone really wants to get out of that energy space of stress, then they just have to stop and give. Help a child, help a stranger, open the door for someone, call a relative, just be kind to someone or order a present that gives back and learn about that charity. All of these things stop stress and, I would say, giving is the #1 stress reliever out there.

Here’s my list of gifts that give back for anyone stressing about what to buy someone this holiday season. If you can’t find a gift, why not just learn about one or two of the charities and be aware. See how much you have to be grateful for. There is always someone else in a more difficult situation than the one you are facing. Happy Holidays, and wishing you less stress in the New Year!

#g1veeveryday list of Gifts that give back tweets:

1. For the music enthusiast: http://www.lstnheadphones.com

2. For the beauty product lovers out there: http://www.lushusa.com

3. For the animal lover: http://www.heifer.org

4. More beauty products that give back: http://www.kiehls.com

5. Rugged jewelry made from repurposed keys: http://www.thegivingkeys.com/

6. Tote and backpack lover: http://www.stoneandcloth.com/

7. Human Rights Advocates: http://shop.hrc.org

8. Fun pajama pant lover: http://intlprincess.org/

9. Socks for any stocking: http://www.mitscoots.com

10. Blanket lover: http://www.blanketamerica.com

11. Donate toward Fair Food Movement: http://www.foodchainsfilm.com 

12. Easy to pack sneakers by Toms: http://www.target.com

13. Hobo bag lover & other products: http://ssekodesigns.com

14. Supports the Metropolitan Museum and its programs http://store.metmuseum.org

15. Desk accessory benefiting St. Judes: http://www.westelm.com

16. Great go to bags for anything: http://www.feedprojects.com

17. More beauty product options that gives back: http://christmas.thebodyshop.com

18. The book lover with 100% of proceeds fighting hunger: http://moneymasterthegame.com

19. For the tea lover benefiting the fight against AIDS: https://www.harney.com

20. Choose the charity you would like to benefit from your purchase: http://www.uncommongoods.com

I’m happy to write that my book website, Solitary Genius is now updated.  Specifically, a new Resources tab has been created  for educators who use Solitary Genius as a part of their course curriculums. Coming soon, I will also add a Discussion Guide for Speech-Language Pathology/Audiology and Education classes, along with Extension Activities.  If you know of any educator, parent or student who you feel may find Solitary Genius of interest, please do pass my website link along as it is ALWAYS appreciated.