Sterile. Cold. The waiting room of the fertility clinic is somehow packed at 8 in the morning. I have to get my blood drawn. At 40 years old and never having a child yet, I came here to find out my level of fertility. Only in Manhattan would you walk into a room like this to standing room only. Looking around at all the couples in the room, I ask myself: am I really here alone? This is uncomfortable, but the alternative takes away my power and being here keeps it in check. I’m being proactive so that I can make informed decisions. Knowledge is power. And it won’t affect me in my day-to-day. This is what you do. It can be distressing, but you just have to create room for it. It’s raw, but the powerful stuff in life is raw.
So now what? How can anyone relate to this– from a guy’s perspective, or even from another woman’s perspective? My most immediate answer is that this is real. I am momentarily uncomfortable. I don’t want to be in this situation, but it is just what it is: An experience. I don’t have control over all the circumstances, but I do have control of my perspective, and I choose positivity. From this positivity, creativity expands. Answers or solutions surface. This is the empowerment of making decisions and putting one foot in front of the other, even though you may not have the answer in the moment. Whether you are in a fertility clinic or at some other crossroad, what I know is to have faith, including faith in ourselves and our decisions.
This is a part of the soul’s human experience – that clash between having faith vs. worrying that it won’t work out. I have a life for me that I love in Manhattan and it has been a dig-in and work- hard journey. It is still not my “perfect” place, but I’ve made some pretty good progress. I continue to work at attaining my desires, but sometimes it feels really hard. I know at this point in my journey that it doesn’t have to be. I know it is an outdated conditioning that believes only hard work is rewarded. What about replacing that cliché saying to, “all work done with positive intention is reciprocated.” To believe that things don’t have to be hard can feel unimaginable, but it doesn’t have to be. You just have to decide to show up in a way that is positive and responsible. You don’t have to take my word for it, because you will feel it and know it when you do.
How do you not let fear win? First, by keeping your perspective positive. Second, reaching to those who wholeheartedly support you and are there to listen when maybe you aren’t feeling so positive and you need that boost. It’s a form of trust, which comes down to the first mention of faith: Trust that your tribe, or those you are sharing this information with, are really there for you to help you sort it out. Third, go have fun and live your life. We do it in this playground called Manhattan. We are in shared quest together; that is, we are not alone.
The most important message, no matter what your challenge, is that we must leave space within ourselves ready to receive goodness and love. When things feel uncertain, it’s easy to fill all our minds up with worries and concerns. But is there room for the good stuff? The good stuff really boils down to one thing: love. We have to make sure we have not filled ourselves up with drama. For me, I have to quiet the chatter and fear of what could crush my heart’s desires. Instead, I choose to create a big space for happiness and fulfillment. I live an unconventional life and I have to be sure the opening in my heart for those experiences that I desire might be unconventional as well.
What is it that you are longing for – a new relationship? an easier life? health? a new job? Now sweep away the drama: that anxiety, the worry, the angst. To move that energy is different for everyone – I make quiet time for myself, I do my best to meditate, walk in the city, pilates, and hang out with my dog, Cooper. Make a big clear space for the good stuff, whatever it is that you want. Make sure your good stuff space is much larger than the bad stuff- see it. If you’re struggling, try to change your perspective.
I know my friends and I that work ourselves to the bone are good, intelligent, kind, creative and deserving souls who want just one simple thing: to create the families we desire. I’m going to make sure I create that space in myself and keep sweeping away any doubt or anxiety that makes me think otherwise. I hope you can do the same for your desires. You may not be a single woman living in Manhattan, but it doesn’t matter; wherever you are, whoever you are, or whatever situation you are in, we all have dreams that we are trying to manifest and we must remind ourselves that it’s making the room and believing in them that is the most important tool we have. Love really does conquer all, you just have to believe it, feel it in your bones, and let it permeate every daily experience you have.
If you liked this article, please pass it on to someone else who is working towards their hearts desires or give me a like at the bottom of the page. Tell us in the comment box below about your desires and how you are going to push away the dust to create room for your dreams. Create the space and believe.