I am both proud and honored to be featured in this month’s issue of Autism Parenting Magazine. In their 39th issue, APM highlights ways to “work together to help ASD children and their families communicate better. In addition to highly-recommended forms of therapy, such as applied behavior analysis (ABA), speech and occupational therapy, there are small steps you as a family can take to help facilitate improved communication.” This wonderful issue helps families of ASD children take significant steps towards communicative breakthroughs.

My article, “5 Tools for Communicative Play,” featured inside the issue as well as on the cover, aims to help adults work together with children on the autistic spectrum in fun and playful ways.

Be sure to check out Autism Parenting Magazine. You can find more about them at http://www.autismparentingmagazine.com.

On the East coast, September signifies the transition from a carefree summer to a breezy, beautiful fall of colors before the deep freeze of winter.  So many people say spring and fall are their favorite seasons. I don’t have a favorite, but I know my least favorite: winter. I can take about one month of it and then I’m kind of over it. I always have to buckle down and plan a trip to somewhere warm to break the cold winter months up.

Winter’s energy is a bit too intense for me. The city streets can turn into wind tunnels, which go right through to my bones.  I fight it in waves, depending on what the day may bring. Sometimes it’s by drinking lots of warm tea, wearing cashmere sweaters, fur hats, down coats, and on the really cold days, layer whatever it is with fur vests.  When I was in my 20s and first starting out in New York, my late cousin once said to me, “You cannot live in New York without a fur.” Well, that sounded very adult and “New York” of her to say.  I didn’t really quite know what she meant because I hadn’t lived here that long.

After more than 17 years in New York, I can now find truth in that statement.  That simple advice actually wasn’t so simple.  In so many words, she was saying, “This is how I fight the cold; get a fur for yourself, it helps.” On the frigid days of winter, it’s my daily ritual of warm tea and layering that sustains me, along with a much-anticipated trip to somewhere warm. It is the best way I know how to weather the literal seasons of life.

The seasons and the transitions they require remind me how I have to transition in my everyday life – in relationships, health, work, play— you name it. There is an ebb and flow to the waves of life. It isn’t the waves we need to worry about, but learning how to ride them and not get stuck in the undertow.   Sometimes a wave pummels you, but you must keep going until the next wave comes and things even out.  This is life.  This is everyone’s life.  You can ride a wave of something intense, have a breather and then a calm – we need to expect these waves and learn how to move with it, most importantly with positivity.   One way we can get pummeled by the wave of life is if we take it too seriously. We need to expect life to flow, but within that flow, we have to expect that there will ultimately be something we have to fight for.

I believe we all have certain life lessons chosen before we take our journey of life. Accepting and learning these lessons can be a good fight, or it can be a fight that overtakes you.  Don’t let it overtake you.  Decide you will not let it and find anything positive in whatever your fight is.  This is always your destiny; it is also always your greatest learning tool. The challenges that we don’t expect or blindside us are all of our greatest learning tools. It is how you take on that storm that creates your destiny.

I’ve experienced a countless number of unexpected waves through the more than dozen jobs I have taken working in all different industries.  I would not settle.  Instead, I would ride the wave to the next unknown experience, trusting in the journey.  I love this city—it is my home and something in it tugs at my soul, so I have always fought to find my way in this city and not leave.  For instance, I would finish a job in casting for a movie or episodic and I wouldn’t know where or how I would get my next job.  I would find a source of positivity within me and just hit the pavement, which included talking to people I know, calling headhunters, and looking to the universe for clues as to where to turn next.  These experiences have taught me countless lessons in intuition, humility, looking beyond the circumstances, and everyday miracles.

My point is, don’t let any wave pummel you. Swim through it with all of your might.  It might throw you.  Thrash back at it.  Be fearless. It’s a decision and it may be the hardest thing you will ever do, but it will be the most important thing you choose to do while here on this journey. So, whether it be a health issue, a relationship, a work challenge, or something that you never believed you could bear in life—You can.  You just have to decide that you will win over whatever it is everyday. We all have choices, and you have to choose to not be a victim.  Fight the good fight, and then smile and cry tears of joy, because you won the battle.

God’s speed.

– Mo.

Happy August!

I am lucky enough to be spending my time working in Southampton, New York for the rest of the summer.  For anyone who has not been to Southampton, or the Hamptons, it’s a place that reminds you of everyday miracles with its abundant beauty of nature that surrounds you. Being surrounded by this abundance of miracles inspired my topic for this month’s newsletter, because I think we all deserve abundance.  For this article, I’m asking you to be open and change your mindset a little, because I’m going to be a bit more direct than usual, but I’m sure you can handle it.

So, what if it is our birthright to live abundantly? Imagine if we all popped out the womb being told that the world is our oyster, and that you can do anything you put your mind to.

Guess what—you did. Everything and everyone else that told you differently was wrong, and now I want to remind you of that birthright.

I think limitations are bullshit. They stop energy and put you in a negative space. Drop them. Drop any limitations (“You don’t have enough time/money, you’re too young/old, you’re sick, your physical state, you can’t travel, you can’t quit your job,” etc.) that you put on yourself for the next 5 minutes. How did that thought make you feel? Like superman (or woman), right? That’s your natural state.

Now, don’t go jumping off any buildings and think you will fly. First, you have to take those limitations off of yourself and your life, but then take them off the world around you, as well. What if you could let go of the limitations you put on others and the world at large?  What if you focused on the abundance they bring into your life every day? What if you chose to not look at any negativity you might receive everyday, only finding positive things? What if you focused on the abundance that your spouse, your child, or your coworkers bring to you each day, and not whatever annoying thing they did or do that you don’t like?

Again, just let it go. Let go of the petty thing called limitations. The “you’re too tired, you don’t have enough will power, you don’t have the right connections, you don’t have a enough money”….whatever the limitation is.  Imagine whatever obstacle you feel there is in your life and remove it.  It’s no longer there. Just poof—gone.

Now, let’s go back to talking about the opposite of limitations: Abundance. Be relentless about abundance. Expect it everywhere you turn. Expect your life to flow. Expect that the right person or conversation or thing that you need to show up. If you anticipate it and expect it, it will show up.  That is, don’t get stuck in looking at whatever issue or obstacle you think you have and instead, look at the possibilities.  You don’t have to earn abundance; you don’t have to guilt your way through it, but you do have to consciously be open to it.  Being open is being real. Real to me is being vulnerable and flowing with life, trusting and being humble, and what is real is the fact that if you take whatever your dream is and relentlessly focus on this vision –feel it, see it, live like the hope is there— then it will find it’s way to you.  It will become real, because you will have created it. We all create our own reality.

Our reality is the environment that surrounds us. If you don’t like what you see around you, then you best get to envisioning, and then get to relentlessly thinking about how wonderful it will be when you have whatever it is you desire. It may not happen overnight and it’s not going to happen if you aren’t consistent, but you know what? They say we think the same damn thing over and over in our heads every day- 90% of our thoughts are the same every day. That’s astounding.

How f–g boring. How limiting.

If you feel stuck in monotonous thoughts, then shake it out of you by creating anything, imagining, and taking time to play.  Get out of that rut or “box.” Boxes are limiting to me unless they are presents.  Please, break out—open a present instead.

How? Just add one new thought a day, and see what it does. Read something new, communicate a new way, envision something new, do something new, find a new way to laugh, find anything new that stimulates positivity within you that is uniquely you and keep doing it. See what happens.

I’ll tell you what happens. Good shit happens, and good shit = abundance. Spread the word. Wouldn’t that be awesome? A world that just keeps on creating off the thoughts of total abundance? I’m not talking material abundance (although you can add that in for fun), but abundance of the heart, abundance of the mind, and abundance of the world.  This ultimately creates more joyful moments and a happier, more flexible, go-with-the-flow attitude toward life, because you are expecting good things to show up.

Think it and then get back to me after you’ve tried it. The truth of the matter is, we are all artists who are creating every single day—by our choices, and our choices create positivity (or negativity) and that creates our daily experience, which in turn shapes our life experience. You can fill your mind and day with 90% of the same crap, or you can start creating little miracles—just like that first abundant miracle of being born. Yup, that birthright that I first mentioned.

Believe it, I’m telling you. Abundance is the way.

I’m all for thinking outside the box, but not for putting people in boxes.

I’m for categorizing, but only for the purpose of helping that person get the tools they need to succeed. While you read this post, I want you to contemplate the idea that you are a special needs individual who can relate to any and all of the individuals we currently categorize as special needs, because ultimately, we all have special needs in some form.

I first discovered the idea that we are all special needs during college at Loyola University in Maryland, where I majored in Speech Pathology. Upon graduating, I was led to the extraordinary children that I taught and wrote about in my book, Solitary Genius. Solitary Genius was a bit of a large onion that I peeled away at to find my true message within the pages of my manuscript. I was certain that I wanted the reader to see that they could relate to children who are classified as “special needs.” We all have special needs within every single one of us. Society has chosen to put people in a box for differences such as ADD, ADHD, dyslexia, being on the spectrum, and learning disabilities, to name a few. I know because I was put in one of those boxes – a learning disability box. What I wish I knew then was that this “disability” that made me feel ostracized from my peers and individuals was actually a gift.

My post today is dedicated to the women of the world. Guys, you might want to skip this post entirely. Or, you just might want to read on about how women as a whole are much too hard on themselves, just so you can go do something nice for that special someone in your life.

Here’s the deal: recently, I have sat down and spoken with 2 of my fabulous girlfriends (at separate times) who both all of a sudden went into a mode of not feeling that they are good enough for whatever the next thing is that they want in their lives. Of course, I immediately did my best to correct them of what was obviously not true. Then, I sat down and had to put my sadness to paper: How could these two fabulous ladies get so down on themselves and be so self-critical? Why were they being downright mean to themselves?

They can only answer that themselves, but our conversations put me into self-reflection: I have found that this way of thinking is, unfortunately, all too common for women. It is a pattern of judgment women put on themselves that needs to stop, and that we need to help one another stop by reminding our women friends how wonderful they are, especially when they are having a tough time. This trend can be stopped by a friend telling them like I did, or it can even be healed before that—from within—by deciding first to love who we are, no matter where we are in life, and that we will just keep at whatever it is that we might want to change.

Women all-too-frequently put a great deal of pressure on themselves to be the best in every area of their lives. Typically, we as women want to look, feel, create, and present ourselves in the best light to others. This is understandable, but we also need to recognize that we all have different paths, and we don’t need to do it all. We can ask for help; in fact, I think asking for help should be a requirement.

I love my neighborhood. I love its energy, and the fact that when I walk my dog, I run into people that I know are my neighbors somewhere in the buildings that surround me. I don’t know all their names, but I definitely know their faces, and they know mine. We have those brief, friendly conversations that generally last no more than 3 minutes because we are all New Yorkers who have places to be. It’s an unspoken understanding. If I run into someone I know, I take this as the universe telling me that I am in the flow with life and on the right track. Seeing my “people” shows me that synchronicity is at work and to keep going.

Recently, at different times, I ran into a couple of my older neighbor friends that I chat with on the sidewalk. I realized that they say similar comments to me. They always seem happy to see me, just as I am happy to see them. Then they ask me what I am up to because I always have something going on that is interesting. I think to myself, “These people have interesting lives, too!” After all, we live in the same city, with the same abundance surrounding us.

These threads of comments show me what makes me different in this diverse place: In the 17 years that I have lived here, I have switched careers many times. I’ve had jobs in different industries, and that is unique. When hearing all the industries I have worked in, people ask me, “How could you do that? “ By that, they mean to ask how could I go from casting to a talent agency, from an antique showroom (to the trade), to interior design, with other things mixed in between? How could someone do all these things? I have a very simple answer for them: they all involve the same skills, just different lexicons. All of my skills are transferable to each industry, and the only difference is a matter of learning the language of that field.

From being in so many industries, I have learned that anyone can switch careers as long as they have these six things:

1. A positive attitude.
2. A “can-do” frame of mind that stems from listening to your intuition.
3. The ability to get along with people.
4. An understanding of when to speak and when to keep quiet.
5. Knowledge of how to make things happen (and quickly)
6. Acceptance that the first one to two years in a new industry will be the most challenging and most likely interfere with your personal life, but after that everything will settle and become almost routine.

If you are willing to go through the awkward growing pains of learning and being persistent and organized in your process of learning, you will create value. If you create value and make yourself invaluable through persistence and thoroughness to whatever industry you choose, there will be a demand for you, not only there, but in other places as well. It’s all in the details. You must adjust to any and all changes, whether it be a daily happening or a completely different job industry, and if you accept this, all the rest will fall into place.

Whether you are 25, 40, or 65 and want to do something different, you most certainly can. It’s a matter of your tolerance for knowing there will be a transition period that will be a little uncomfortable, and after that, things will fall into place.   I know this because I have done it more than a dozen times. Allow yourself to be led to the next and most unexpected opportunity, and allow yourself to begin something new.

It’s not going to be easy. Transition is uncomfortable and takes effort – a lot of effort. As the saying goes, there is no free lunch. But know that you really can change anything in your life. While some elders say “You are different, Mo. You are a go getter.” But I’m not anymore of a go-getter than anyone else. We are all go-getters, as long as you believe in yourself and your capabilities. You either sink or swim, and sometimes you almost drown, but you will find a way to pull yourself back up. I have always been dependent on myself and drowning is not an option. There were times I thought I was about to drown, but I held on to what felt like the eleventh hour more than a handful of time and EVERY single time a lifeboat appeared. This is true for all situations in life. Ride the wave and trust that you will make it through no matter which way you are thrown. But if you don’t take a dive into the unknown every once in a while, that is giving up on your brilliance, and in my book, that is not an option.

You are too magnificent for that option.

-Mo

I am very much a producer, and I put pressure on myself to be productive pretty much every minute of the day. That is just how this silly mind of mine works, and I’m used to it. I am relaxed about going with the flow, but going with the flow can still mean getting things done. Since I got back from being in Maui and Kauai about a month ago, however, I can still feel the effects – I’m much more relaxed about life overall. Things seem just a little bit easier.

Being that I have been to Hawaii 4 times now, I really have done the majority of the sightseeing, so my focus was not to run around the island, which can be very fun, but instead to just really do not much of anything other than rest, read, and rejuvenate however I felt I wanted to each day. So, I planned the minimum and left my itinerary open to going with the flow.

As much as I know Hawaii balances my system, there is always something thematic that I need to work on to bring myself back to balance. As the days of relaxation went by and I listened to my inner GPS, or intuition, one of the things that I decided I wanted to do was go visit Ken Carlson. I hadn’t seen Ken for about six years, so I picked up my cell and dialed him, hoping he would be around. Ken is unique in that he is an expert on flower essences. He creates and bottles Kauai flower and gem essences for healing. The origin of medicine came from flowers and herbs, so to use flower essences in healing is—lets just call it—the old fashioned, natural way of doing things. For decades, Ken has spent his time creating and sharing the flower and gem essences of Kauai with those who are drawn to this ancient form of energetic healing. The universe was drawing me in, and sure enough, without even speaking directly, Ken and I left messages back and forth to establish a time to meet the next day.

Ken’s house is about 45 minutes from the hotel, so my friend and I got in the car almost exactly 45 minutes in advance. I believe that when there is something that your Spirit requires of you, or if you are being led by your spirit, then it is almost impossible to be late. It is as if the universe stops time, or quickens it, to make sure you arrive at exactly the right minute. Despite any traffic or stops we made to get some water, we arrived to Ken’s house on the exact minute we agreed. I smiled in gratitude as we drove up his private driveway past one house to his. As we got out of the car, Ken greeted us, let us know he would be out in a few minutes, and told us to feel free to roam around the property.

I remembered his backyard from my last visit, so I was excited to show my friend the magical views, some of the most spectacular ones I have ever seen. I can’t help but feel that the reason he is blessed with such magnificent beauty in his backyard is because he is creating his work from the ultimate symbol of beauty: the flower. You attract what you give off. Call it Karma—what you give is what you receive. The view at Ken’s speaks for itself and is one uniquely magical place. Look to the left of his property and you see a water stream with lush green mountains; look to the right and you see a cliff and the ocean. It takes your breath away and puts you in place of meditation almost immediately. In less than an hour, both my friend and I individually met with Ken, left with our personal flower essence mixture, and headed back to the hotel feeling nurtured. Ken chooses the essences based on a conversation with you and on what his intuition is telling him. As I left Ken, he said, “let the island of Kauai heal you.” And it does. Nature heals and Kauai is one of the most powerful places where nature does in fact heal you. One might call it magic or magical, and I think that is a pretty accurate description.

Now that I am back from Hawaii and moved into my new apartment, I feel very lucky for all that I have and my trip to Kauai. This past visit to the islands healed me by slowing me down and reminding me that I don’t always need to be working and to not push my intuition to the side because my mind is telling me I should be getting something done. I just need to slow down more. Usually, I have a list of things to do when I get home from work, and that list is basically just more work. It’s primarily my writing work, which I love, so it doesn’t bother me one bit to go from my day job to my “night job” of writing. Nine times out of ten it puts social engagements to the side. Since getting back, that voice in me that puts everything recreational to the side and fills it in with work seems to have been tamed for now. For example, these past weeks, I just felt like going out. And I’ve been going out 3 out of 7 nights to meet and catch up with friends for a bite to eat and have a glass of wine. That is almost unheard of for me—I did not go from work to work, typing away, reading or sorting through what I must get done. Instead, I had the feeling I wanted to be out and about, so out I have gone, not internally battling in my head about what I “should be doing.” There was no battle.

Over the weekend, I actually sat down outside with a tea latte and my dog at my feet on the sidewalk and really just had a lazy Sunday morning while taking in some sun. I have to say, I don’t remember ever doing that. That might sound crazy that I haven’t allowed myself these quiet moments, but as I said, I’m a producer. My norm is for me to pick up that latte and keep moving to the next errand or thing that I have to get done. Instead, since my reset from Hawaii, I’m able to smell the roses much more than my usual self. I’m liking this new set of habits.

One of the nights I went out, I met up with my friend who I went to Kauai with. I had felt that I was “slacking” compared to my usual routine, but as we talked I went through a number of things that I had done since we arrived home. She was like, wow, you have been busy. I thought, even when I’m slacking off, I actually get a lot done. I just have my own personal “normal,” which is just fine with me because I’ve always been a fan of thinking and being outside the box. I think the universe made it pretty clear that the one thing I need to do is have a little bit more fun and not worry so much about being a producer. I will produce no matter what, because it’s in my heart and soul.

I believe the beauty and calm of Kauai is like getting a gentle shake from the environment saying, “don’t forget all the natural beauty that surrounds you every day.” Nature is here to heal us and balance us; it’s literally right in front of our noses. Yet, it’s so easy to walk obliviously by nature because we are caught up in what seems to “urgent” or “important.” I was just reminded by Hawaii for the fourth time that the most important thing is to be present in order to fully enjoy this interesting journey of life.

Thanks for the lesson, Kauai. I’ll be back.

Mo