The “new normal” that we are all getting used to is quite an adjustment.  What is the “new normal” really going to look like in the next year? There is no definite answer other than we all have to continue to take it day by day and go with the flow, that it is a work in progress.  How is this “new normal” affecting our families? our jobs? our priorities in life? This pandemic is pulling these answers out of us whether we like it or not- ultimately, it all comes down to answering the question, “How have your priorities shifted?”  

I don’t like to camp, but camping does force you to simplify and prioritize what is needed.  Maybe we can look at the circumstance of socially distancing as a form of camping away from what was our everyday life?  This is a very long camp out, and I would like to go back to my everyday life just like everyone else. I want to go back to doing the simple things, like walking the dog with my son and then stop to pick up a tea latte with the morning bustle of the city amping up, head back home and put the baby down for his morning nap, giving me a little bit of quiet time. Tea at home is my new normal and I’m fine with that, but I imagine I will always enjoy having someone else make me that latte in the morning. My new normal also means there is no babysitter, so I cannot take a break, run out and do some errands or go out to a quick drink or lunch with a friend. Babysitters are just not happening. 

What is happening, though, is my family life is getting stronger each day, because my husband and I have no choice but to lean on each other, and no one else, for whatever we need. Then, I think of how lucky my son is to have his dad at home working; when my husband is able to take breaks throughout the day, my son can see his father. I think of how the family structure and the priorities of families are having light shed on them, just like the extremely bright spotlight on your cell phone that you reach for when you are in the dark. That flashlight illuminates what you need directly in front of you, just like this forced social isolation is shining a light on what our priorities and limitations are in life, reshaping not only how we live, but how we show up in our families and relationships. 

All of our relationships have shifted. Who do you now facetime with every day or once a week? Who do you check on out of sincere concern? What groups of friends or family do you zoom with?  Where is the silver lining in all of this isolation and loss?  

I think this camping out and flashlight spotlighting our priorities is a big part of the answer.  Families are spending more time together than they ever have before. Sure, they can sit on their devices, but no one can keep that up for this many weeks in a row. It forces human interaction with those closest to them whether we want it or not. As a result, families are going to bond differently and relationships hopefully will be strengthened more than harmed. Parents are making hard choices about their careers because the state of daycares and schools is unknown. Companies are completely restructuring how things are done, realizing much of the workforce can in fact work from home.  We are also making more small decisions, like when my husband decided to cut my son’s hair.  As my husband said after the attempt, his limitations are clear.  My son will wear a hat for a while and we will forever laugh about it. 

I am curious though, after all that society is experiencing, will we go back to the old times, when one parent stayed home more than not with children or when a relative lived with a family in order to help take care? Perhaps we will, partly out of necessity and partly out of choice. Will people be happy to go back to the old fashioned ways of society, or will people have morphed into a new way of choosing to live their lives? Once a vaccine is found, will people have missed the old ways so much that they will try to cram even more into their lives, or will they let things fall to the wayside and choose to simplify and fill their days with less in order to recharge?  

I suspect people will realize how much they were not allowing themselves to recharge and how they were filling their days with too much “stuff” that they felt had to get done.  We cannot ignore this new sense of gratitude for how easy things used to be. Perhaps people will slow down and really enjoy and listen in a way we have forgotten to since the invention of the internet. Our children have never been so stressed as they are today, and as much as this situation is not easy for our children, perhaps getting through this will start to heal a part of our youth.  Maybe having to be at home and figure out how to be creative with their time within the confines of the home with family will ultimately have positive outcomes. The social time they are missing out on has been substituted with an emphasis on family. How can we use this time to actually give our children  what they need to emotionally heal?

My hope is that by the time we have a vaccine, as much as we have lost in this tragedy, we will have gained through renewed priorities within our daily lives, our families, friends, and especially our youth … all from a forced “camp out.” 

-Mo

It’s not going to be a typical Mother’s Day this year. Nothing is typical during these times, perhaps other than having to go with the flow. Whether you are a working mom or a full time mom, tending to the needs of children at home during this pandemic is a constant juggling act. My little boy recently turned one years old. My hands are full, and we haven’t even reached the “terrible twos” yet. When I think about my sisters who have more than one child I remind myself that I have it easy.  Then, I think to my mother who took care of all of us- ten children, every day. Compared to her, we all have it easy!  My mom did it on her own- no nannies, no babysitters. We did have the occasional relative come to help, but it really was all on Mom, with the older kids chipping in on a regular basis.   

Whether you have one or ten children, we are all mothers who simply want the best for our children.  We question, research, and discuss our concerns on a daily basis. We always know there will be surprises that create a never ending list of lessons we learn from these little people who we pour our hearts into.  

I can’t tell you what my top lessons for mothering during this time are yet, because my little one is only one years old.  So instead, I wondered what would my mom say are the most important lessons she learned raising ten kids? I asked her.  Then I asked her if I could share these answers with the hard working mothers out there, in hopes that her lessons would ease any extra worry or concern during these challenging times.  These are my mom’s top seven lessons for mothering:

1. Choose your battles. You can’t fight about everything. If you do, that is all you will be doing. Pick the thing that means the most to you. The kids will understand that.
2. Try not to reprimand your children in public. Children should be allowed to make mistakes. That is what this growing up is all about. The whole neighborhood doesn’t need to know about your child’s learning experience, or be given an excuse to label them negatively.
3. Tell the children your family stories, and not just the good ones. If they see that you or your relatives have fought to overcome troubles, the children will believe they can too.
4. Don’t tell your kids that you just want them to be happy. Being happy is important, but it is the wrong goal. To be a good person is what they really need to hear. Character, conscience, confidence, and compassion are among the goals they need to be a better person.
5. Watch what pessimism you reinforce. Sometimes we don’t understand that we can give off negative messages that your kids hear loud and clear!
6. Self worth is very important. Kids need to believe in themselves and that we are here for a reason. It is not stickers, soccer goals, or 99% in school that gives a child worth. Their whole view of the world and how they fit into it comes from your love and a belief that there never was and never will be another them. They have a unique part to play in history.
7. Love, love, love! Love can heal any mistake we make. Our children know that we are not perfect- they can see that; but as long as we keep demonstrating to them how loved they are, we won’t fail.

Happy Mother’s Day!

-Mo

This article was originally featured in Conscious Magazine‘s April release. Read that version here. 

Through all of this anxiousness, concern, and worry, you can still hear your intuition—it’s still there. If you can’t, I think it is your duty to find it.

It’s been a month of tragedy for all of us. How can we make things better? I know people who have been lost to this pandemic, and I’m sure you do too. It appears New York may have reached the apex of this pandemic. It can never go down fast enough, but we also need to recognize, while New York may be seeing signs of fewer cases and deaths, other areas in the country are just reaching the peak of this illness or in the middle of an apex. Many people are going to need help for the weeks ahead. The anxiety of the situation is a little less intense because we have adjusted to this “new norm,” but that does not mean it is gone.

Like so many others, I’m sure you can physically see the results of your anxiety in your cracked, dry skin from all this hand-scrubbing. But, through all of this anxiousness, concern, and worry, you can still hear your intuition—it’s still there. If you can’t, I think it is your duty to find it.

Being at home with your family is by no means a quiet situation, but it can be a way of rooting you, and that groundedness can make your intuition stronger than ever. Since this crisis, I have tried to check in regularly with my sister and brother, who are both doctors, to see how they are doing. I ask if they still have face masks, Personal Protective Equipment (PPE), and how many COVID patients they are being exposed to. If I hear them say they don’t have the equipment, I will use all of my energy to find that equipment for them, like a terrier digging in the ground, or a horse running at its peak.

This morning, my intuition reminded me to check in with my good friend from college, who is a doctor in Baltimore. I asked the standard questions that are my new norm for my healthcare friends and family: How are you? Do you have masks and the PPE equipment you need? Her response was not the one I wanted to hear: she had been wearing the same N-95 mask and face shield for three weeks at the hospital. Three weeks. My first reaction was disgust. How is this possible in the United States of America? As frustrating as the answer to that question may be, my energy was not distracted from figuring out a way to help her. I told myself, “I don’t have time to answer that, because my friend is in need.”

Of all the places on the internet, my intuition nudged me to post a request on a Facebook group to see if anyone could help me get PPE equipment to my friend. Now, I can get very impatient when I want a response, even if it isn’t directed at one particular person. It’s the Aries in me. But, I told myself to be patient and went along with my morning. Just an hour later, I received one lead and was waiting to hear back. I told myself to be patient again, but the impatience in me was loud this time and led me to stare at my FB group, scrolling, and reading. I watched my toddler son out of the corner of my eye, who I am usually playing with. Today, I couldn’t play with him. I had to keep scrolling down the page.

Sure enough, that urgency was the right thing to do: I found an entry from 1 hour before from a company donating PPE face shields to healthcare workers in need. Within an hour, I had connected my friend with the contact for the donation. Unbeknownst to me, my other friend from college was on the hunt, too, and had located some N-95 masks to send out immediately.

I know this was both of our intuitions working at their best, whether we were aware of what one another was doing or not. This is an example of the tiny miracles that happen every day if you choose to see what is in front of you and be present, but continue to hope and know it is good beyond what you can ever imagine. This is just one small story, and I know there are so many others. Still, these days, little stories like this one are just as big as any other, because it ultimately comes down to the same message: love does prevail in even the most inhumane, gut-wrenching situations we experience.

It makes my stomach hurt, and my jaw tightens to think of what our frontline healthcare workers are enduring, but as much hell and loss as they are going through, they have to know that tiny miracles are happening on their behalf. There is no reason in a country like ours that they should have to endure this without the proper protection. But that’s where we can help. We all have to listen to our intuition daily to be another form of protection for these people, to have our intuition guide us towards helping them while they perform the unimaginable.

God bless our frontline healthcare workers, and please do the easy part: stay home… and please, listen to your intuition.

There seems to be a level of denial or disbelief that what is happening is actually happening. Believe me, I don’t want to have to process this reality either.  We have a pandemic in our everyday lives and I know we have never seen this before. I can only guess people are in denial because they have not seen someone they know with the virus or sick from it yet.  

Other countries are living a nightmare and the nightmare is coming to us.  We have to do everything we can to stop this nightmare and we can, but the only way we can do this is if people take it seriously. 

Everyone, please take a breath and then REFOCUS. I mean everyone.  

One lesson I have already been reminded of is this: We are all one- my actions affect you and yours, mine.  We are all taking on an attack threatening our health and the welfare of people we know and love.  People are losing lives and this is going to escalate very quickly to even more lives if we don’t make huge shifts to how we are behaving. Please, FOCUS on the fact that we are all neighbors and we live in this world together.  

Then, ask yourself, do I really need to be going out right now, or can I stay inside and do what the experts say can curb this crisis and save lives?  I am in NYC and it’s worrisome. I have to be smart in every choice I make because every choice is affecting another. People can be carriers of this disease and not even know it.  

I am doing my best to stay indoors in our apartment and only go out to quickly walk the dog. It’s stressful. I literally hold a Clorox wipe in my hand and carry my dog in my arms to lessen any germs that for any reason I could give to others. I use a Clorox wipe to press the elevator buttons, I carry my dog in and out of the building so he isn’t tracking germs into the building. 

Is this crazy? No. It is perhaps overly cautious, but overly cautious is what we need to be right now. Stay away from your loved ones over 70. Just stay away. Check on them and if they need you to do something for them, or use your creativity to figure out how you can assist them.  We are so lucky. We have the internet, we have TV, we have online delivery to limit as much interaction as possible.  

As of today, March 15,  many parks in NYC were full of children. It’s wrong. We are soooo lucky this virus does not seem to be attacking children, but no one can guarantee that it won’t.  I know adults over 70 that are going to stores. This is so dangerous for them. People on social media groups are panicking by writing rants because families are leaving NYC to stay confined in their homes out of the city.  Some locals who live there year round are panicking because they feel city people are bringing their towns the virus.  

You know what? If these families stay in the city, the virus will multiply even more because of the increased proximity to people. So, as long as these families are responsibly staying in their homes outside the city, they are actually ultimately saving lives. And as my mother who raised the 10 of us always said, “If you have nothing good to say, shut your mouth.”  This is a time to use nervous energy by asking how you can help, not judging others. Perhaps we can use our own nervous energy to support the healthcare workers out there taking on this pandemic. So many hospitals and healthcare workers don’t have masks or the right supplies. Why don’t we use any anxiety to reach out and find out who those are and help to find them the supplies they need? Don’t be going out to get a latte or meet friends.  People are unfortunately going to die. We are going to lose more people because denial and immediate wants are being prioritized over a pandemic that can create a hell that none of us wants to see.  

My point is this: Please, please REFOCUS. Your decisions can cause someone to lose their life. Your decisions at this time in history can also SAVE lives.  

Please, powers above, watch over us all at this time. I pray and hope I can look back at this post and feel that I panicked and that this pandemic was ultimately lessened because people chose to listen to the experts and denied their immediate needs for the overall good of others.  Be kind to one another in this stressful time and take a breath if you find yourself overwhelmed. We are being tested. We are being reminded, that we are all connected and your actions and decision impact your fellow neighbors, and vice versa.  

Be safe.

–Mo

I use a new system of gauging where I am in time.  I used to follow the seasons or reference the month to say where I was in time.  Now, less than a year into motherhood, I just say I have a 9 month old. Motherhood is another experience that has challenged me to trust my gut and listen to my intuition. When I am tuned into that listening, I tend to get words that recur in my head if the universe wants me to hear something. Over these last 9 months, the words I have been hearing consistently have been, “Let go to receive something new.” 

In my head I respond back (“I hear you“), but there is so much that I have already let go of because of all the life changes going on.  So many wonderful new things have been added to my life, and the single event of having a new baby forces you to let go of so many old priorities and create brand new ones.  I have to continue to release to receive something new, trusting this is what is best. It’s not easy though. We all love what we know or what we did before change happens, even when it is all good stuff.

It has been a whirlwind with this wonderful new little being that I am blessed to have.  While I remind my son every day that I love him to the moon and beyond, I have to remind myself every day to try and release any worry about all of the things I have not done that day to keep life in order, because he is the priority and not those other things. Every time I release one responsibility, another seems to fill its place almost immediately, before I can think.

In addition to having a baby, we decided last minute (because there was an opening), that we would plan a wedding in less than 3 months. Now I can personally tell you there is a very good reason the wedding usually comes before the baby because to plan a wedding while having an infant at home is something I don’t recommend to anyone.

It all worked out and I definitely had to release any frustration with things that didn’t go as planned that day.  it ended up being a beautiful day, but I literally felt like I was cramming for the biggest final exam I ever had for about 3 weeks straight before the wedding, which meant maybe a total of 4-5 hours of sleep each night. And no sleep doesn’t do anyone any good. I just made sure on my wedding day that I had a good makeup artist to whisk away the dark circles under my eyes and a good photographer to airbrush out any other obvious signs of sleep deprivation.

One would think after getting through the wedding I would feel relief. I didn’t. Yet again, another priority would fill its void: I had to rally for a large Halloween party and Haunted House that we organize at work for hundreds of people.  

Again, I said to myself, after Halloween I will rest.  Wrong again! We decided to move, and before I knew it, we had movers in our place and further downtown we moved.  

Again, I said to the universe, that will be it. We will have our new home with more space for baby and the pace will slow.  Wrong again. My husband ended up having surprise surgery. I’m not going to say I think things will calm down anymore, because that thought doesn’t seem to be working for me.  At this point, not only am I so behind on writing “Thank You” notes for our wedding, but now we have the holidays and I am so behind for that I shouldn’t be taking the time to type this.  The thing is, words are my therapy.

With the New Year approaching, I challenge you to ask yourself, what must you release to receive something new?  It might be an easy answer or it might be a difficult one for you. Whichever it is, I wish you a new year of receiving wonderful things.  You know what you need to let go of- it doesn’t have to be something physical– although, it could be. You may need to clean out a garage or closet, or you may need to release a relationship that isn’t working or a habit that doesn’t suit you anymore.  Sit and be silent for five minutes and see if something comes up, remember to breath.

Lastly, what do you want to receive new this year? I strongly recommend writing it down! There are studies that have found writing down goals results in a greater percentage of attaining them vs. those who don’t write them down.  My tradition is to write down what I would like to receive in the new year. This year, I’ll do a combined list with my husband so we have a shared vision. I love doing this, it’s amazing how it really works- and it can take years for things to be created, but when you look back at what you wrote after it manifests you will be amazed.

I took a 4 month break from writing because I was blessed with giving birth to my little boy 3 weeks earlier than expected. I honestly didn’t place any expectations on how my actual birth would go other than knowing that I wanted to greet my little one with as much calm as I could. Would I be able to stay calm or would the pain of labor take over any calmness and completely derail my intent? I did not make hard statements like, “I won’t take an epidural or I will only breastfeed.” I just said to anyone that asked if I had a birthing plan that I would try to do what I could as best I could and see what happens.

The other day, someone asked me about labor and how scary was it or if it was really bad because no one really talks about it.  It’s true: not many people talk about the details of birth because it is such a personal thing. I did tell her my story to shed some light on things and granted, I went into some more details with this friend than I will on a piece of paper, but this is a summary of my birthing experience in hopes that it eases and answers some questions for those who are curious.

As it turns out, my water broke at work and I wasn’t completely sure it was my water at first or if my son had just decided to put his entire weight on my bladder. I didn’t assume anything, and being of this uncertainty, I approached everything calmly. Over the phone, the doctor told me I had to go right to the hospital and I responded that I needed to first take care of my pup (my first child) before I could go to the hospital. She agreed to this, but told me to not linger at home to do anything else.

So, after I finished up something I was in the middle of, I let my colleague know what was going on. He responded very excitedly, “What can I do for you?” to which I responded almost laughing- I just really need a diaper at this point because my pants are soaking wet. Again, I informed someone else at work I had to leave for the hospital and was told again, “Wow, you’re so calm!” Surprisingly, I honestly did feel very peaceful and calm.

My colleague helped me into an Uber and I did as the doctor requested: after taking care of my pup, I grabbed the first taxi I saw to NYU hospital. The doctor quickly confirmed my water broke but because I was not yet feeling contractions, they would have to induce me.

As a preparation for the intensity of labor, I had done prenatal pilates twice a week throughout my entire pregnancy, spoke with a friend who hypnobirthed, and I studied how people breathe when they do hypnobirthing. Epidural or not, ultimately the goal for me was to stay comfortable and calm during the most painful and difficult moments of labor while still being safe for the baby and myself. This helped me be less scared about childbirth. As I walked into the hospital, I tried to think about this approach.

However, after laboring all night with an IV of Pitocin and a balloon that is put in the cervix to induce labor, I had what they call a “failed induction.” My body would not dilate past 5cm. Therefore, I had to have a C-section. The entire night laboring was uncomfortable and at times very painful. The balloon was especially uncomfortable, but I was somehow able to breath through the surges of contractions with no epidural.  I wasn’t trying to be any superhero by not taking an epidural, but because of the induction meds, they were not able to measure my progress and if they couldn’t tell me how much I was dilated, I didn’t want an epidural.

Despite the pain all night of laboring, I really did stay calm, and while the C-section was definitely not fun, they got my baby boy out safe and sound.

Labor always seems so scary because it is the unknown, but as my friend who has a number of children has reminded me multiple times: “Your body knows what to do; let it do its job. Trust it.”  Once again, the universe has taught me a very large lesson in going with the flow and placing trust in yourself that you can get through the surges in labor and in life.

P.S.I typed half of this newsletter with one hand as my infant slept on top of me and the other half the next day while feeding him with one hand and typing with the other. We must all figure out how to make things work for our different lifestyles.  Its my new normal and it isn’t always easy, but I am blessed.

I was having a conversation with a friend who had recently quit their job they had disliked for years. They got to a point where they decided it was time to go, even though they didn’t have another job in place.  The decision required many lifestyle changes, including selling a home. Since they were single, their new free time would allow them to finally get the dog they felt they couldn’t get when working full time. Months later, another friend ran into this person and commented that to their surprise, they appeared much more mentally and emotionally healthy than probably ever before.

Personally, I know this person was probably happy to get rid of the job that they disliked, but really, I knew why they were healthier…

“It’s the dog,” I thought to myself.

Why? Well, in my experience, dogs provide a sense of purpose.

Now, this newsletter isn’t all about dogs, but it is about purpose, something everyone needs. People create their sense of purpose via their job,  family, extended family, caring for a loved one, having a job that cares for others, or through animals. We all need a sense of purpose, and if we don’t have one, unhappiness- and even depression- sets in.  If you or someone you know seems unhappy, ask yourself, “What is my or their purpose?” If there is one, it should be clear. If one has not surfaced for you naturally, one must create their sense of purpose to feel balanced.  It’s how we are wired as human beings. We are here for each other no matter how introverted some of us may be.

I am in a purposeful transition now myself, and it’s uncomfortable and exciting. I will need to trust a bit of the unknown for it to unfold for me. Even today, I had a hard day and I didn’t know why. I just knew I didn’t feel my usual self, so I did my best to just come home and lay low: eat a healthy dinner, let myself relax and not force anything– just be in the not-feeling-great mood and trust that I would figure out how to get the yuckiness to go away.  I’m 35 weeks pregnant and it is not the most comfortable thing. The weight of carrying a baby can be a lot on your system some days, and the amount of hormones going through my system to support this little being are at a high.

I finally decided I needed to meditate because I hadn’t meditated in many, many weeks. I don’t meditate on a daily basis, but I do usually find times to meditate in my own way on a somewhat regular basis.  I put on a guided meditation and immediately I could feel my system calm. It was exactly what I needed. My head felt clearer and I needed my spirit to remind me that not only is my body in transition with a baby due in about five weeks, but my purpose is in transition too.  Again, this was a reminder that I must be patient. Even though the yuckiness I felt earlier is not completely gone, it has lifted significantly because when it all comes down to it, I know it is both my body and my sense of purpose that is being shifted. I must learn to embrace it in order to feel my peaceful, happy self again.

Sometimes your purpose comes to you, sometimes you have to create it, sometimes it’s just not clear, and sometimes you are in transition to your new purpose.  Be patient with purpose- it’s a soulful creation that doesn’t need to be forced. It may need to be sought, but never forced.

Change.  It happens to all of us.  Sometimes it is welcome and sometimes it’s unexpected.  I know of a good amount of people going through changes and it’s a bumpy ride, one in which you have to have faith in yourself and something greater.  It tests you more than any other thing in life because it’s not predictable. That is, unless you decide to believe it is predictable. There are so many scenarios:  that person who is looking for a new job because they just want out of their current job, that person who has moved to a new state to forge a different life and they are pounding the pavement, or that person who is unexpectedly making a shift from a place they have worked for many years plus — and the list goes on.  

A difficult part of change is that it often isn’t foreseeable. If you are not currently amidst change, this message may seem foreign to you. But, all of us encounter change at one point and one day, change will come into your life and it often doesn’t feel like change, but instead feels like an unwanted crisis.  This is when your challenge will be to remind yourself that you are not going through a crisis; instead, try to view this moment as a change, a course readjustment in your life. This will allow you to look at your circumstances less with a sense of panic and frustration, and more with an energy and excitement for opportunity. Something was no longer aligning energetically in your life and it’s time to move on.  As bad as it might feel in the moment, you have to remind yourself that this is a good thing; growth is happening.

One question that usually accompanies change is: is moving on an improvement or a regression?  We are all human and in every one of us there is the fear, “Will I be able to find something better?”  This is the unknown. What is on the other side of change? There are financial pressures behind most of this because most people do need to make money, so the pressure amounts and the mind goes into worry, depressive thoughts, questioning, doubting oneself, or not knowing what to believe.  This is when you have to remind yourself that you are energy and everything around you is energy. Energetically, it was time to move on for whatever reason it was- you know- was it toxic, were you not appreciated, were you not being your best you, did you outgrow the situation? Really, it doesn’t matter what the reason is.  You simply must choose this time which is the hardest for many in their lives to believe that things will ultimately be better. It doesn’t mean it will be easy to get to the next destination, but trust in your goodness. Treat yourself with the care that you would a loved one- rest and heal as much as you can expecting that the next opportunity will show up at the right time. This is when you have to choose to live by your heart and that is not an easy thing to do when you have bills that are piling up.  

Living by your heart means listening to the whispers of intuition guiding you.  It does not mean you sit and do nothing. It means you trust you will be guided by your intuition to the next opportunity and this can be one of the most stressful scenarios where you are challenged to live by your heart. I know this because I have done it countless times from one job to the next.  I can tell you that once you do it enough, you get to a place within yourself where you know all will be more than alright. Just remember to listen to the whispers; this is your primary job until the actual job shows up. And once it does, don’t forget how predictable living by your heart is and perhaps, next time it will be a little easier.

I recently spent an afternoon at an event in the Meatpacking district.  In a studio space with a floor to ceiling screen showcasing the latest in their designs, a number of successful individuals all in creative fields discussed their brands.  I noticed that after they ultimately narrowed down all the questions and lessons, they had a common message. Some of those in the discussion included, the founder & CEO of the clothing brand, Rag and Bone, the creative directors of the almost 50 year old Paris brand Kenzo, and the founder of Hello Alfred an assistant App in which you can hire them to do the errands you don’t have time to do. The audience listened as each creative explained their unique and interesting journeys and how they got to where they are today.

The founder of Rag and Bone (whose jeans I happen to have about 20 pairs of because there are no other jeans like them) didn’t go into the fashion industry looking to create a trend. He just didn’t like the jeans he had on and simply wanted to be comfortable.  He carries this over into every aspect of his business- only doing and collaboration with those who feel right to him. He commented that you should think of how much better you feel when something feels and fits great each time you put it on. The right soft t-shirt that fits just perfectly, the right jeans: these details make a difference- NOT who wears your jeans or who you have collaborated with.

The KENZO creative directors are a gal and guy team who continue the legacy of a company founded in 1970 in Paris by Kenzo Takada, who brought his Japanese influenced creations to the fashion world. These two have known each other for years and can work without saying a word to one another because they know each other that well.  When they were asked about how they make decisions and why, they continually came back to the point that they always look at the history of the brand and what Kenzo’s original intention was when he started the business.

They bring that philosophy forward in today’s modern world, reinventing his influences in different ways within their clothing lines. They apply the influences that inspired him many years ago to today’s present.

Finally, the founder of Hello Alfred, a personal assistant business, unintentionally began her career while in business school. She had no personal time to do anything, so she hired an assistant to do those things for her, and before she knew it she had 100 people asking her for an assistant. She also talked about her journey and the fact that each time someone made a suggestion as to how here business should be run, she didn’t always take their advice.  It wasn’t always the easiest or fastest route, but it was how she envisioned her business. And guess what? The business is thriving.

As I sat in the audience and listened intently, it occurred to me that each and every one of these talented individuals all boiled their success stories down to the same word or explanation of how they made their way: AUTHENTICITY.  They all faced rejection, advice telling them what to do in order to make more money faster, and money offered to them that they declined.  What they all consistently have done to reach their goals and their continued visions was to remain authentic to themselves and their vision. Authenticity is not only applied to businesses; it applies to artists in all mediums trying to create something. Even parenting and everyday decisions can benefit from remembering to stay true to yourself. This is the #1 thing that all successful people do, and the #1 thing you should do for yourself.  When you live authentically, you grow in a way that feels true to yourself; not like you are pretending to be something else. This is what makes you uniquely you. If you feel something in your heart or gut, trust it. Don’t listen to what others tell you makes sense; forge ahead. This is authenticity.